Decluttering and Bereavement – How to deal with material possessions and death.

Introduction – Decluttering and Bereavement – How to deal with material possessions and death.

Last week, I talked about my experiences doing the Cancer Research Shine Walk to raise money for people affected by Cancer.

Macmillan Cancer Support estimates that there are currently three million people with Cancer in the UK. Numbers are sadly rising. I also mentioned various friends that I had lost to Cancer. Cancer is a horrible disease. Someone dies of Cancer every four minutes, so chances are you know someone.

But Cancer isn’t the only illness or means of losing a loved one. Old age comes to everyone. Be it a partner, a sibling or parents, loss is always a painful process.

In today’s post, I want to talk about ways you can declutter before you leave planet Earth. I also want to discuss dealing with clutter after someone close to you dies.

Sorting out your possessions so your relatives won’t have to

I reviewed Margareta Magnusson’s book Döstädning The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning a while back. Magnusson became famous for promoting downsizing and sorting your material possessions before you die. At first, this sounds morbid, but it is a good way of ensuring family peace, a calmer life in old age and knowing where your things go. Let me explain.

When my grandfather died in 2009, he left us with 89 years of clutter in two apartments and a holiday home. We grieved, but we also bickered. While my grandfather had left property and some money, he wasn’t into expensive clothes, furniture, or valuable everyday things. Yet his belongings still caused tension. My Dad and his brother don’t get on, and before we finished grieving, the cheap ironing board and out-of-date camera equipment caused arguments.

In Death Cleaning, you have a good clear out while you are still here and throw away anything you don’t need anymore.

In Death Cleaning, you also give away stuff to family members and friends. This way so you can see them enjoying your possessions and ensure everyone gets things of equal value. Magnusson suggests, amongst other things, a party where you assemble your family and lay out unwanted items on a table. Everyone can take what they want, and the rest goes to charity. This way, you don’t burden anyone with things they don’t want.

In death cleaning, you ensure your relatives don’t discover sensitive, sentimental items because you dealt with them beforehand. Do you want them to see your old journals or love letters?

Further, as you get older and less able to move around or lift heavy stuff, having fewer possessions can make cleaning and enjoying life easier. I have written about minimalism on my blog. Here is an introduction to minimalism and its benefits.

As a professional organiser, I work extensively with older people sorting their possessions, paperwork and photographs and often having a neutral person there helps. Unlike you or your loved ones, I am not emotionally attached to your clutter. I see it for what it is. Moreover, I am still youngish and reasonably fit, so I can lift and climb things you might not. Get in touch if you want to find out how I can help you.

I, of course, appreciate that not everyone is able or willing to ‘Death Clean’. While we all want our loved ones to die peacefully in their sleep, sadly, not all people will. Sometimes, death comes suddenly, and we are unprepared.

Decluttering challenges after a bereavement.

Losing someone is hard; it will leave a big hole in your life and heart. We have all been there. You will be tired from arranging the funeral and unable to deal with all but the most essential things. Your spouse’s clutter will remain where it is—scattered all over the house. Every time you walk past something, it will remind you of them, which can be a painful experience.

Working with clients after a bereavement is part of my job as a professional organiser. While I am not a trained therapist, I am a listening ear. During a decluttering project, it is common for my clients to tell me their life stories and talk me through photos or possessions and their importance to the deceased. It could be a wedding gift or a person’s shorts that bring back holiday memories. Just having someone to listen is often worthwhile. For those occasions, I have learned to pack a large box of tissues and a good supply of hugs.

Conclusion- Decluttering and Bereavement – How to deal with material possessions and death.

I am not a therapist, so I would like to mention the NHS’s bereavement counselling, which might be valuable to some.

But, if you are affected by any of the above and think you could benefit from my services, call me, and we can discuss things further. I work with clients throughout the UK and beyond, but I am happy to visit people for an initial chat and a cuppa if they are London-based. Otherwise, Zoom or phone will have to do.

trabantbettina

Bettina Anna Trabant, Founder of Life Organised, your professional organising and decluttering service in East London. Eco-conscious minimalist and avid tea drinker,