People’s difficulty of parting with books

Introduction – People’s difficulty of parting with books

While researching this blog post on people’s difficulty with parting with books and tips on how they can do it easily, I came across a post on Mumsnet, a UK website and online forum discussing all things related to parenting, housekeeping and more. In this post, a user called: ‘My Latest’ appeals for help trying to get rid of books:

‘This is an appeal for help from anyone who successfully got rid of lots of books.

My book collection is out of control but somehow I can’t bring myself to part with them. I really intend to cull them but then end up thinking, ‘I haven’t read that one yet but I will read it soon / I might want to reread that one / so-and-so gave me that one / insert other ridiculous excuse.’

I have a lovely room in my house that is barely usable because it is crammed with books and everything is a disorganised mess because all the shelf space is taken.

I’m not an e-book fan and this is more about books I already have.

If you have conquered your habit, how did you manage it?!

Thanks in advance.’

The above Mumsnet user is not unique in her struggles to part with books. I hear this time and time again from family, friends and in online forums.

My sister said, ‘ Bettina, I keep every book I ever bought. It makes me look intelligent. I have no intention of rereading any of them.’

While discussing books and reading with a friend, she said she had books stashed in threes on the shelf, one behind the other, but again had no intention of parting with them.

Why some people find it difficult to part with books

So, what is it that makes it so hard to get rid of books? While many people are happy to ditch outdated clothing, old electrical goods or duplicate kitchen items, parting with books is hard.

I have been there myself. When I crossed the Thames many years ago to move from Brixton to Hackney, I went through my ever-growing book collection. I stared at every book and remembered the cosy nights in reading or the cold morning commutes made bearable with a nice read. I parted with some but with very few. Five hundred books crossed the Thames.

The reason it is hard to part with books is many. First, books form part of our identity. They define who we are. Have you ever been invited to a dinner party at someone’s house that you don’t know well, such as colleagues, and looked through their bookshelf? Immediately you will have drawn a picture in your mind about the host: ‘Ah, he’s got the bible, he must be religious’ or ‘All these art books, I wonder how many exhibitions at Tate has he been to?’

People don’t see books as clutter, even though they use a lot of room. Robert Wohner from New York states in his blog post:

‘No matter how digitally advanced the world gets, books are a timeless part of our lives. Between iconic cover art and their sweet smell locked inside the enriching pages of generations, books are incredible. No electronic version can ever replicate the magic of a physical book.’

There is truth in the above, and people are not so much attached to the words inside the books but to the books themselves. They see them as pieces of art.

On my first day living in a student house in Hull, as I went about cleaning and organising my sparse belonging, I noticed the empty bookshelf. I exclaimed, ‘ I am going to fill this case with books, lots of books. By the time my course is over it will be full of books.’ I stuck to my promise.

Twenty years later, I am still an obsessive reader and a lover of books. I have my own flat and space for more bookshelves than I did way back as a twenty-something postgrad student in Hull. Yet, I don’t have books everywhere. My flat is minimalist, with only the study containing books. I haven’t gone down the Marie Kondo route of owning only 30 books.

“I’m told that tidying up expert Marie Kondo says you should only keep 30 books so you can prevent clutter and I’m over here like ’30 books on my nightstand, you mean?'” National Review writer Alexandra DeSanctis jokingly tweeted.

Kondo has retracted the above numerous times, but she still approves of pruning your books to the bare minimum.

Tips on how they can part with books.

But I have a carefully curated library of eight hundred-odd books. So what is my advice for preventing your books from overflowing on your shelves and taking over your whole flat? Who needs a partner or friends when your spare armchair can be a book repository?

I do the following three things:

1. Every book that I buy goes on the to-read shelf. This way, I know exactly how many books I still have to read and, on the whole, will not randomly raid a bookshop when I know the ‘to read’ shelf is full. It also ensures that I read the books I buy. I read mine in the order they came into my house unless I need to scan something for a book group, talk or work project.
2. Once I have read a book, I will ask myself: ‘Did I enjoy the book?’ If the answer is no, it will go on the ‘to part with pile’. If the answer is yes, I will ask the follow-up question: ‘Am I likely to reread it?’ Only if the answer is yes will it go on my bookshelf. This way, I only keep 60% of all books that I read
3. About twice a year, I will go through my bookshelf, dust the books and the shelves and re-evaluate my books again.

Conclusion

I hope the above article has explained people’s difficulty with parting with books and given tips on how to do it.

Now you are thinking, but what do I do with the discarded books? Well, this is part of a future blog post.

If you feel daunted by the task of getting rid of books, I am here to help. Contact me at [email protected].

Further Reading

1. How To Decide What Books To Keep Or Get Rid Of

2. How to Let Go of Your Books – Be More with Less

3. How To Actually Get Rid Of Books, Because You Really Can’t Hold On To Everything

4. Breaking The Sentimental Attachment To Books

5. How to Declutter Books: 12 Practical Tips

6. A Book Lover’s Guide To Parting With Books | Gin & Lemonade

7. Getting rid of books – how did you do it? | Mumsnet

8. On the Heartbreaking Difficulty of Getting Rid of Books ‹ Literary Hub